Elaborate Engagement

Last week I met a local woman who took the initiative to talk with me. She was very friendly and within 24 hours, she extended an invitation to her cousin's engagement party. YES! Just what I've been wanting to do. I called around to several other friends to invite someone to enjoy the evening with me. Why not bring C? Wedding and engagement celebrations are not mix-gender gatherings. The women meet in one location and celebrate while the men meet somewhere else. This is one of the very few times that women can gather together and not be required to wear their abayas or veils. No males are allowed within the area.

Once my friend S and I arrived at the Ritz-Carlton for the celebration, we located a table in the back of the ballroom where we could have the best view of all the activities. I suppose we were a bit like the plague because we were the only two Western women out of the 100+ ladies in attendance. The ballroom tables would seat 10 people and by the end of the evening we were still the only 2 sitting at our table. Want to know what's worse? Our plague was so severe that women took the extra chairs from our table to cram into the surrounding crowded tables so they could sit with their friends. Ouch! That hurt! At least S and I could laugh it off together. We were too busy chunking gourmet chocolates in our beaded handbags for our husbands and her kids to let it get to us.

Cultural Notes from the evening:
--Formal parties here do not begin until after 8:30pm and last until after midnight
--Female DJ's are brought in to blare pop Arabic music...you have to yell at one another to be heard over the music
--Mega bucks were spent on the back drop that reminded me of something we would see in a professional stage production.
--A long, wide 'cat-walk' was built in front of the stage area so women could take turns dancing. While they were dancing, women would go onto the cat-walk and through wads of money into the air over the dancing women. Then their maids/servants would rush the stage and scramble on the floor to pick up all the cash they could carry. I was tempted, but didn't want to disgrace my host.
--Women spent time dressing in expensive sequined and beaded gowns and having their hair and make-up professionally done before arriving. My friend and I decided that Tammy Fay Baker would have looked pale and gaunt compared to these high society women. The jewels and gowns were something I've seen only on TV or in the movies. Seriously!
--Henna was the fashion statement of the evening. We saw henna simply on fingertips or elaborate designs from fingertips to just above the elbow. I asked my local friend how long it took to create such a masterpiece. At least an hour to paint on the arm and then another hour to dry.
--The bride-to-be did not arrive until around 9:30pm. Her arrival was announced by the women creating that unusual sound with their tongues going a million miles an hour. I had to try hard not to laugh at the situation.
--While waiting for the bride, tray after tray of gourmet finger foods and expensive chocolates were paraded from table to table by the female wait staff. As well as juices, coffee, tea, and soft drinks. Plus there were decorative trays of baklava and other arabic sweets and breads on all tables.
--Just before the groom arrived, all of the women quickly covered themselves with their abayas and veils. He looked so nervous walking into a room full of women.
--This was the first time for the groom to see his bride-to-be without a veil, which means he MUST now marry her. As the dowry, the groom presented his fiance with a real diamond necklace, earrings, bracelets, and rings. Believe me, this was not costume jewelry! My local friend told me that this was the bride price that must be paid and each family can set its own price for their daughters.
--After the engaged couple left, the buffet was opened and the dance floor was once again in full motion. My friend and I sat back and watched the commotion until 11:30pm and then made an early exit.
--No cameras or video recorders were permitted within the ballroom or entrance area. A muslim woman is not permitted to have her photo taken if she does not have on her abaya and veil. Even then, many older women will not allow it.

What an experience! I asked if the wedding would be similar to the engagement party. "No, it will be even bigger," was my friend's reply. Hope I get an invite to their July wedding!

Unusual Sign

In any city, state, or country in which you reside, signs alert drivers and pedestrians to potential hazards. This is an example of one sign I've noticed while driving into compounds to visit friends: CAUTION: DEAD SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING and other variations on the same theme. Here is a picture of one of those signs.

Snacks in the Souq

If you are out and about in the souq and your tummy starts rumbling, your best bet is to stop at the local crepe shop. This is a great place to sit with the locals and observe their way of life. It's a small shop hidden within the shopping labrynth . The best way to find it is to ask for directions to the kitchen shop where you can buy a serving tray large enough for a small camel. No--I'm not making this up. The next time I go, I'll have to take a picture of the large trays just to verify my words for you. Maybe I'll even measure them for fun! Once you have found the shop, you can make your order and then wait on benches in the small walkway between shops. Your choice of fillings are few, but believe me, they are all good. #1-Egg & cheese; #2-butter & honey; #3-zatar (a mix of traditional arabic spices). My favorite is zatar with a nice cold diet Sprite on the side. You'll have to ask Glenda what her favorite one was because she got to sample all three!

Filling in the Gap

I had not realized it had been quite as long as it has been since I've updated our blog. C's mom, Glenda, was visiting us for two weeks and during that time I don't think I touched the computer all that much. We were too busy seeing the sights, meeting up with new friends, or just relaxing around our apartment. It was wonderful to spend more time with Glenda and get to know her more and learn about C's childhood and family as a whole. Glenda arrived with tons of treats from the States which we tore into as soon as we arrived home. One interesting thing I've learned about my husband is that he is a book addict like me. My dad sent him a John Grisham book and we didn't hear much from him during his 48 hour read. Can't really blame him, I do the same thing when I get sucked into a great plot with creative twists and turns.

The spring semester for C's academy will begin on Sunday. After being here for 6 months, C received the word that he has been 'approved' by the board and they extended to him an official contract. Until this time, we have been on a probation period. I was a bit teary in the car when C told me the good news. Now we are officially here! YEAH! For those of you who have the question, "how long will you be there?", we don't know. We do know that this is the place for us to live and cultivate until we are moved to another city and country. We've both made friends within the community and have a strong sense that this is where we are to serve.

On our last blog update, I asked you to think of C as he was going out to the desert with his fellow teachers. I'm attempting to attach some of those pics so you can get an idea of what happens out in the desert. Once he got to the edge of the desert, he waited for a friend to come and get him and a few others in a jeep. After a 15 minute ride over dunes and bumpy 'roads', they arrived at a huge tent--complete with play station and other electronic devices. Many people will spend the entire weekend in the desert and thanks to generators, they enjoy most of the comforts of home. The guys played volleyball, watched the dare devils going over the dunes, and cooked lamb and chicken over the small charcoal grills. It was a cold evening and by the time they all left, it was raining. Our Nativa looked as if it had been spray painted with a light coating of brown mud. YUCK! Thankfully, it rained the next several days and washed most of it away.

It doesn't look as if I'm going to be teaching the conversation class this semester. Admittedly, I was bummed out and disappointed by the news. How was I supposed to meet local women if I couldn't sit with them in the classroom? Answer: the GYM! I was waiting outside the 'spinning' class this week and soon struck up a conversation with a local woman. She had spent some time in the US and was eager to practice her English. She asked me if I would meet with her and a friend for coffee in order to help them with a book they have been reading. H asked me if I had ever read, "Chicken Soup for the Soul". Sure! The next day, H sent me a text with an invite to a family engagement party. There was no way I was going to turn it down! I'm out of writing time now, but will give a full update soon on the most elaborate party I've ever experienced in my life.

What's coming up for us:
--C begins his Spring semester of classes on Sunday
--E is meeting with a small group for a marriage study. Learning so much from women who have been married 20+ years.
--C/E heading to a Valentine's dinner in less than an hour! (I've got to get ready FAST!)
--ask that E will be able to meet with H for coffee sometime soon.
--ask that we will focus on the ONE who sent us and not the cultural collisions that rip through our days unexpectedly.
--ask for our marriage to continue to be strengthened through our prayers together and personal study time