Elaborate Engagement

Last week I met a local woman who took the initiative to talk with me. She was very friendly and within 24 hours, she extended an invitation to her cousin's engagement party. YES! Just what I've been wanting to do. I called around to several other friends to invite someone to enjoy the evening with me. Why not bring C? Wedding and engagement celebrations are not mix-gender gatherings. The women meet in one location and celebrate while the men meet somewhere else. This is one of the very few times that women can gather together and not be required to wear their abayas or veils. No males are allowed within the area.

Once my friend S and I arrived at the Ritz-Carlton for the celebration, we located a table in the back of the ballroom where we could have the best view of all the activities. I suppose we were a bit like the plague because we were the only two Western women out of the 100+ ladies in attendance. The ballroom tables would seat 10 people and by the end of the evening we were still the only 2 sitting at our table. Want to know what's worse? Our plague was so severe that women took the extra chairs from our table to cram into the surrounding crowded tables so they could sit with their friends. Ouch! That hurt! At least S and I could laugh it off together. We were too busy chunking gourmet chocolates in our beaded handbags for our husbands and her kids to let it get to us.

Cultural Notes from the evening:
--Formal parties here do not begin until after 8:30pm and last until after midnight
--Female DJ's are brought in to blare pop Arabic music...you have to yell at one another to be heard over the music
--Mega bucks were spent on the back drop that reminded me of something we would see in a professional stage production.
--A long, wide 'cat-walk' was built in front of the stage area so women could take turns dancing. While they were dancing, women would go onto the cat-walk and through wads of money into the air over the dancing women. Then their maids/servants would rush the stage and scramble on the floor to pick up all the cash they could carry. I was tempted, but didn't want to disgrace my host.
--Women spent time dressing in expensive sequined and beaded gowns and having their hair and make-up professionally done before arriving. My friend and I decided that Tammy Fay Baker would have looked pale and gaunt compared to these high society women. The jewels and gowns were something I've seen only on TV or in the movies. Seriously!
--Henna was the fashion statement of the evening. We saw henna simply on fingertips or elaborate designs from fingertips to just above the elbow. I asked my local friend how long it took to create such a masterpiece. At least an hour to paint on the arm and then another hour to dry.
--The bride-to-be did not arrive until around 9:30pm. Her arrival was announced by the women creating that unusual sound with their tongues going a million miles an hour. I had to try hard not to laugh at the situation.
--While waiting for the bride, tray after tray of gourmet finger foods and expensive chocolates were paraded from table to table by the female wait staff. As well as juices, coffee, tea, and soft drinks. Plus there were decorative trays of baklava and other arabic sweets and breads on all tables.
--Just before the groom arrived, all of the women quickly covered themselves with their abayas and veils. He looked so nervous walking into a room full of women.
--This was the first time for the groom to see his bride-to-be without a veil, which means he MUST now marry her. As the dowry, the groom presented his fiance with a real diamond necklace, earrings, bracelets, and rings. Believe me, this was not costume jewelry! My local friend told me that this was the bride price that must be paid and each family can set its own price for their daughters.
--After the engaged couple left, the buffet was opened and the dance floor was once again in full motion. My friend and I sat back and watched the commotion until 11:30pm and then made an early exit.
--No cameras or video recorders were permitted within the ballroom or entrance area. A muslim woman is not permitted to have her photo taken if she does not have on her abaya and veil. Even then, many older women will not allow it.

What an experience! I asked if the wedding would be similar to the engagement party. "No, it will be even bigger," was my friend's reply. Hope I get an invite to their July wedding!